023. The Art of the Refresh

I went to go and write this update and push it to my blog, then realized in all the madness that was the end of last year and the beginning of this year, I never updated my site certificate. Then, we cancelled our hosting (on accident). So, I just decided it was time to move it to a new hosting and “start over.” As you can see, I kept the old posts and put them here, but the comments and such are gone, which is fine. Really, all it does is reinforce that I keep this blog just for me anyway.

Regardless, as I mentioned previously, a lot has been going on and some things have changed. For example, I got promoted twice; once while out on surgery and then once again a few months ago. I’m now the proud leader of a team of computer control bandits that run the show control, parkwide systems, and basically just creates anything that doesn’t exist for our shows. The 5+ of them (5 other salaried leaders and countless other technicians) are all significantly smarter than me at what they do. That would’ve and has always been my plan; to surround myself with people who are better than me at the things I love so I can learn and support them. So far, so good on that front. There have been new difficulties with work though in trying to figure out how to be the appropriate type of leader. I don’t want to be a hardass, but I do want to assert that they are taken care of and appropriately defended in their right actions. I have had some terrible leaders in my time there (and other places) and I want to try to correct that by being available, trusting them to make decisions they should be making, and defending them when people (in their lack of experience) don’t support their choices. There’s a healthy balance, I’m sure, but it’ll be some time before I really figure out how to do both.

I also have made some significant progress in counseling, but that has led me to be more at peace with myself and my situations and less confident that the world is getting better. There has been so much stigma in my lifetime about seeing a therapist. It is “an appointment reserved for only those with severe mental and behavioral health issues,” and other ignorant comments like that. Frankly, I look at it like any other doctor that you would see. If you break a bone or something, you go to the doctor, they let it heal, they provide therapy, and then you move on with your life with more experience. Why are the brain and emotions any different? Why do people find themselves embarrassed to say they see a therapist? Or, worse, act like it’s a shameful thing? It’s not a sign of weakness to admit you need help; in fact, it’s the opposite. It’s an enormous sign of strength to admit that you can’t do something, and you need an expert to help you. How amazing would our society be if we weren’t all know-it-alls…

That leads to some other random bits: I don’t frequent Facebook anymore because of the thick toxicity it has spewed in the last few months. People still haven’t learned how to behave and how to treat each other humanely while they discuss or counter-argue and it’s just too much for me. Furthermore, people just aren’t thinking when they post stuff. I’ve seen some of the smartest people post enraged content just because some ideal they align with posted it. “Boycott this group because they hunt wild species in Africa!” “Don’t eat the hate chicken!” “Click ‘like’ to support this!” “Share if you agree!” For God’s sake, the only thing we’re supposed to do is love God and love our neighbor and instead we’re cozying up to ideals that don’t even have substance providing us what we think is the moral high-ground to tell people where to shop and what to like or else they must hate [insert cause, person, ideal, denomination here]. I hate to say it, but the worst of the worst of it are the church. The most hateful things I’ve seen online lately have nothing to do with political ideology or other religions, but solely which denomination got which thing right! And which church is the “right” way! We were all called to ONE gospel and ONE calling people! Why are we arguing about the verbiage of a song?!? So, I’m not really around Facebook anymore. I’ll show my support for people in person (ya know, like the old days).

Beyond that, I’m just trying to keep my head down, deal with my Crohn’s, support my wife and sons, spend time with my family (especially my mom), serve at the church, support my colleagues, learn from them, try to stay active, read my Bible, listen to music, and just thrive instead of this living thing I’ve been doing. It’s been refreshing, to be honest and I couldn’t recommend it more.

 

[kyle]

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